Simple Truths

SIMPLE  TRUTH  1

  Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

 Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're  screwed.

 SIMPLE  TRUTH  2

  When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her  stomach and say, "Congrats".

 But, none of them  touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".

 Simple  Truth: Some members of a team are never  appreciated.

  FIVE Other Simple  Truths

 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

 2.  Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

 4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.

 Bonus Truth:

 Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.  A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.